THEY WON'T LET ME STOP SMOKING !
Ever since the ministry of health started printing a warning about the dire effects of smoking on the side of the cigarette packets, I have redoubled my efforts to quit. If only I could puff a cigarette and not inhale, this would be some improvement. But inhaling is precisely what I do- though I never lift a cigarette un to my lips.
You see , I go around inhaling other people's smoke. I don't mean I go looking around for it ; I simply go around and wherever I go, someone is smoking. The only way I can stop inhaling tobacco , is to stop breathing - something that doesn't even the minister of health advocate.
I try my best to avoid smokers. When , for instance , I attend wedding functions , I make a great effort to sit as far away as possible from those who smoke. Unfortunately , I always fail. I wish the government would declare, that, by law, 'no smoking' areas be designated at all public gatherings. But, in all likelihood, such legislation would be ignored in any case.
On airplanes as well, I very often find myself wedged between two smokers - in the middle of a row of three seats. If my row is on the right side of the plane, the smoker by the window is a 'left blower', blowing the smoke out of the right side of his mouth , and the one on the aisle seat, is a 'right blower' . The only way I can escape this situation , is to place my head between my knees and breathe some of the unpolluted air under the seats. More than once, a sympathetic smoker has 'misinterpreted' my problem. "here, take this," he said, offering me the paper bag from the pocket in the back of the seat.
Smokers I have noticed, smoke especially hard when they are thinking. Instead of doodling on a notepad or a table cloth at moments of intense concentration, they narrow their eyes, purse their lips and shoot smoke out in a long, sustained jet that reaches the face of a non-smoker sitting even about eight feet away. The moment the non-smoker sees the smoker narrow his eyes, he too should narrow his - not to look thoughtful , but to keep away from being temporarily blind.
I have encountered such smokers most often at meetings. I remember one such meeting, the topic of which was "Thinking of Others" . There was thinking, sure enough (there had to be, since that was the title of the meeting) - and this meant matches , cigarettes, pursed lips and meditative jets of smoke. One of the non-smoking ladies present , obviously allergic to smoke, suddenly turned pale and left the room. Since she never came back , she couldn't benefit from the helpful list of suggestions drawn up by our secretary, one of the smokers, on how to be considerate of others in our everyday relationships.
If there is one time I enjoy a smokeless environment more than any other , it is when I am eating . At lunch encounters , it is curious how the person next to me is always a chain smoker, and how the air conditioning sends his exaltations , right in my direction. Bobbling and weaving in an effort to get out of the direct line of smoke , I have more than once been taken for a drunk. "And at this time of day, too," some fussy patron is likely to observe, nervously lighting up another cigarette.
Sometimes my lunch counter companion tires of his cigarette when their is still an inch to go, and extinguishes in an ashtray- but not completely. There it lies smouldering, releasing its noxious fumes. I dare not reach over and extinguish the thing ; its still his cigarette after all, and he may decide to take another drag on it. So I let it burn down to its filter, watching as if it were a fuse , ready to blow. By now , the smoker has lit up another , and fresh smoke mingles with that of the cigarette dying in the ashtray.
I have thought of ways to get back at smokers, such as carrying atomizer full of a mixture of garlic and countering each cloud of smoke with a spray of my own. Though this might be as unpleasant to the smoker as his smoke to me, I don't suppose it would have any lasting effect. Yet to take stronger action against him , by, for instance, spraying him with poison gas, would involve me with the law.
I am not asking smokers to forsake something that gives them great pleasure, or to break a habit that they haven't the willpower to break. But I wish they would think twice, or even once, before lighting up at a lunch counter next to someone who isn't smoking , or in a doctor's office where everyone looks sick ( and probably is ), or under circumstances where simple courtesy and common sense would advocate restraint.
Source : The News
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